Back to the Start

Friday, April 30, 2004

hmm, just came back from cross country practise. lolx, some people say want to pon-tang then end up still come.

either way, let's start with a few days back. happy belated birthday again ian. may you have long days and pleasant nights. then dan, celeb and jason bought him a care bear and a soft toy flower. lolx, he hold and walk look like some gay-lord like that =X. then miss tan borrowed it for one day to play with it and end up the flower ganna de-flower by desmond soh.

today, some guy and his bunch come find business with me inside the macritchie track. ask for bandage and tried to scratch himself on the floor to get it. wad the fuck sia. want to chue dai chi also not like that one wad. then say he four person i onli got two, chee bye, talk big act small, tell my teacher then he hum chi in front of my teacher act angel. go home suck a few more year milk then come out play la. haiz, hopeless.

Ok, that's another episode of My Screwed Up Life. That's all folks!!

posted at 5:47 PM

Wednesday, April 28, 2004

currently, sitting in front of the computer doing some research stuff. but cannot find anything leh =/ this month happened to be the birthday of at least 5 people i noe, so had to spent some money to buy presents. haiz, sorry mates, too many people liao, so some i onli chip in hor. if not i pok gai sia.. suddenly feel the heat of exams. mother don't allow me to go out. stress from seeing everyday go by in the blink of an eye. then everyone chionging. *shudder*

then yesterday go out study with my sister. only a few things to say. (1)your joke very cold. (2) not very productive leh, next time change place k? (3)your joke still very cold. and by the way, i erased off most of your "artistic burst" on my notebook liao.. onli leave a bit just in case you claw me.

had chinese oral on monday, went quite well for me la. got improvement according to her. so hoping for the best. knew i could crap in english, never thought i could do even more in chinese. *grin*

dunno why, now very sian and very shack. no mood do anything, HAIZ. can someone spur me on? *shrug*

k la, waddeva. bye.

posted at 6:10 PM

Friday, April 23, 2004

This is written by a old friend. Posted it before a long time ago. Decided to post it again. Grace, hope you don't mind me blogging this up. (=

Love's Resignation
A broken love
A shattered heart
Like others who've lived
And tasted romance's bitter fruit

To reminisce over priceless memories
Be it joy that brings forth a sense of euphoria
Be it sorrow that stings like nettle rash
Invaluable memories of a broken heart

A broken heart
A shattered dream
By love's resignation
An infinite depression

posted at 5:03 PM

since i got not better to do now. i think i'll just spent sometime thinking out loud.

Why are people uncomfortable with themselves? Why do they feel insecure talking about themselves? I'm not saying that i'm immune to this. Just that some people are really suffering from a severe case of confidence-deficiency.

Seriously, i believe in something called fate. Not in the sense that "whatever will come will come so i might as well sit here and take a nap." It's more like..erm.. what they call "ka" in by Stephen Kings. That there is a path that draws us and no matter what we do, we will be lead back to it. Personally, i think that no life is perfect, that if you are good at something, some part of you is gonna blow. there's always a balance somewhere. In the words of Spiderman's Uncle Ben :"Great power comes with great responsibility." So the give and take of life is still there.

But back to the topic, why do people feel bad about themselves? Social stigma. This society do not allow us to be ourselves. We must always be the guy[or girl] who can chop a basketball in from half-court and still manage to get 6 points in the O levels. I think that is freaking unrealistic, even if you can do that..at what cost?

Social stigma says we must be this to be popular. We must be the fucking all-rounder to be deemed successful. Oh yes, and looks play a big part in molding a person's life. Think i don't need to explain that, everyone knows how that works.

Everybody is good at something, and bad at something. So why bother about what the world tells you? For goodness sakes, like that i told ian: live for yourself. It's ultimately God that you answer to, so why bother what Man says to you. They can fucking burn for all i care.

Ok, sorry, my topic is flying all over the place. Thanks for reading my thoughts till here though. Back to fate, I always believe that there is someone up there guiding you and pushing you to work, and that failure is not necessarily a bad thing. Failure is just a part of life that we should learn from rather then shun. Being scared to fail is being afraid of life. In the words of Corrinne May,"I will fall to fly."

I think that i lead a wonderful life. With just the right amount of love, care, concern, help, blessing, kindness, failure, shame, hate, ostracizing, insult, fuck-ups and embarassment to grow. I'm not a christian but i think that there is one big Mac-Daddy up there nudging us into the right direction. And bless Him.

Ok, thanks for reading another frothing-in-the-mouth raving brought to you by me. And disagreement, concern, insults, middle fingers ,bombs, anthrax or just plain comments are welcomed. Anyone boliao enough is also welcomed to mark this entry.

Thanks, and God bless.

posted at 4:26 PM

Wednesday, April 21, 2004

*geek mood*
I think this is a very good read. Check it out. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/4725189/

And by the way,
Gloomy Bear still rocks. Check this out first. http://www.chax.net/frameset.html

posted at 6:23 PM

Gloomy bear rocks. Find me for more details.

Anyway, just reached home half an hour ago, as always, i'm shacked. "mug mug mug away, i am mugging away." [to the melody of Rainbow Orgy's ending song, for those who knows what the hell it is]

just making a point to make a new entry every few days. currently not very busy, i got this feeling that it is the calm before the storm, the silents before the murder, the ceasing of tummy rumbling before the Great Anal Release. ok fine, i'm raving. gimme a sec, time for my Velium dose.

Ok, done. feeling calmer now. Today was just another ordinary day. After school stayed back for English enrichment with JH. I think it is very good money, better than private tuitioning. She gets what.. $60/student for a class of 40-50? and that's for a span of 9 hours over 6 lessons. That's $450/lesson goodness sakes, and she still say that she didn't do this for money, but just to help us. *snorts* yeah rite..

ok, i'll end here now, see you guys. God Bless.

posted at 5:08 PM

Monday, April 19, 2004

BLUE

You give your love and friendship unconditionaly. You enjoy long, thoughtful conversations rich in philosophy and spirituality. You are very loyal and intuitive.

Find out your color at Quiz Me!

posted at 7:21 PM

here's a quote from my beloved and slightly psychotic physics teacher.

"The spirit is willing, but the body is a bit groggy"
- Michael Lim

Enjoy.

posted at 7:16 PM

just reached home. so the mugging begins.

i'm currently changing my motto in life. Used to be " i shall have no regrets if i die today". Now, it is "let every year of my life be the last year " sounds seriously corny but to me it actually works. beginning to mug now, in the words of a friend " now then woken up ah?" but hopefully not too late ba. 2weeks to mid year left. still got a whole lot to do. hopefully can influence some friends to mug also ba. scully they mug at home nvr tell me. lolx, i also dun care la.

dunno why, feeling down now. still got this damn feeling that i'm alone in this world. maybe is a) its really true , b) recent events force me into looking at life like this or c) i'm going crazy. i'm more incline towards me going crazy, suffering depression and turning suicidal. But on the other hand, ain't i always suicidal? maybe not. *shrug* ok fine, i'm only making things seem worse, dun mind me. a bit crazy lor.

wadever.

posted at 6:55 PM

Tuesday, April 13, 2004

yup. finally found a new web music hosting server. hope you like the song (=

yesterday night. ganna scolding by my parents because of my results. starting from the low mark and slowly evolved into something about me not respecting my teacher to i being stupid. i mean, seriously, WTF! but nvm la, i think they did talk sense ba, onli thing is that their phrasing is extremely wrong and hurting. haiz, as i always say, wad to do? my parents what.

then today in class we had 2 hours odd of english. Quote from Eden Fong's compo : "Students are nuts, schools are the nutshells." Wa lao! Bui tahan sia. it sounds damn farnie. lolx. then after that i slept through bio remedial. haiz. must stop this already.

anyway, striving to live a life with this motto : "if i die tonight, i will have no regrets" but don't think it will be easy though, don't you feel that there is too much that we keep inside us till the point of time where everything burst out? maybe i should let go? well..maybe not.

ok, what the heck. dun mind me. i'm not in the correct state of mind today. maybe PMS coming.[oops.] wadeva. bye.

posted at 4:55 PM

Monday, April 12, 2004

feeling utterly screwed. just got back me chemistry paper today, got erm.. 9/35? that is like the lowest i got for a test so far. serious, not hao lian, i'm really worried about my results. then this year will be THE YEAR somemore. going to officially start my mugging operation today. I think this is God's way of asking me to awake up and start moving. So if there is divine intervention, then i jolly well follow orders right?

Started studying in the bus today. realise that the best place to study is actually a quiet bus. no distractions. no noise. no temptation to slack. Going to clock at least 3 hours a day from now on. Please, i got a favor to ask. Friends, remind me to study ok?[especially that one i call often] Saying i want to study is much easier than really sitting down and opening the book.

Friday went to ian's church to see GodSpell the muscial. its suppose to be taken from the Gospel of John and set in modern times in a skatepark. Very nice and meaningful. Then quite lame la huh. John baptise people using a barber's water spraycan. erm, somethings not quite rite there. All in all a good show. Like the ending but its a bit too short.

Ok, starting mugging soon. See you guys.

posted at 5:13 PM

Thursday, April 08, 2004

the promised half day was today. at the start it was so shuang, school end at 10.10 and no chem prac till four. but then came the biggy, whr to go? ended up left dan, ian and me left. so we went to watch HellBoy. what the hell, it was boring, dry and a tinge satanic. in my own words, a Bakuah without the marinate. first movie i almost fell asleep in. then after that went to taka to eat japanese noodles[taste like mee goreng sia] and went over to heerens to window shop.

ended up we were teaching ian all sorts of lame games to trick people. like the original johnny johnny johnny johnny wosh johnny wosh johnny johnny johnny johnny and all sorts of other crap. i'm amazed by his ignorance.

ok, tomorrow going to see GodSpell. Update you on that next time. hope its nice. see u.

ps: KNN. david ba you damn good. no tuition never tell me. i'll home at five liao then you just cannot bother to call again rite? go your house. then also dunno how to come down, open gate and talk right. stand on the 2nd floor balcony, what's your problem? think you bigger than me rite? must let me look up and talk to you right? very nice ba. i like your style.

posted at 8:25 PM

Wednesday, April 07, 2004

lim peh school won ACSI 10 to 7 in Police Cup. WooHoo~! the match was very nice. we were defending all through the second half and managed to tahan the barrage of attacks. then i was just standing there doing duty and watching the match. one of the acs players called bock got his head cut up and had to be send to the hospital. blood was splattered everywhere, cool =X

at the end of the match, all the ACS people black face. then SA was on crack. everyone was like cheering and jerseys where flying everywhere. nothing explicit, only jerseys.

hopefully we'll get a half day off somewhr in the future.

p.s.[to the one who is concern] : if you think that my concern if extra, forget it.

posted at 9:03 PM

Monday, April 05, 2004

caught a cold a few days back. feeling like crap now. sigh. =/

saturday morning went to bishan park, cycled around the damn bloody wet tall grass field for erm..(counting)6-9rounds? that's around 4-5 kliks of chain sucking, hard pedalling hell. i cringe at the memory of it. tried to walk up 10storeys to my gram's house as usual. ended up my legs cramped stiff 3 times during the climb. not a good feeling.

did a quick wash up and went for Standard Chardard Singapore Sevens duty. it was damn song sia.
foster sponsored free flow of beer and those girls who dispensed the beer were.. let's just say very very jude. and its amazing how much the All Black Kiwis sucked this season. they lost to argentina like crazy. And during the England vs. France match, all the drunk ang mohs stood up and start cursing the france. it was funny sia. But heard that the finals is Argentina against Sounth Africa. Too bad i wasn't there, those lucky Red Cross people got the duty. Haiz. Dang.

Ok, that should be it. no mood write. feeling damn stone now. sniffed too much. see you guys around.

posted at 7:34 PM

Thursday, April 01, 2004

Days swiftly come and go.
I'm dreaming of her.
She's seeing other guys.
Emotions they stir.
The sun is gone.
The nights are long.
And I am left while the tears fall.

Did you think that I would cry,
on the phone?
Do you know what it feels like,
being alone?
I'll find someone new.

Swing, Swing from the tangles of.
My heart is crushed by a former love.
Can you help me find a way
To carry on again?

Wish cast into the sky.
I'm moving on.
Sweet beginnings do arise.
She knows I was wrong.
The notes are old,
They bend, they fold.
and so do I to a new love.

Did you think that I would cry,
on the phone?
Do you know what it feels like,
being alone?
I'll find someone new

Swing, Swing from the tangles of.
My heart is crushed by a former love.
Can you help me find a way
To carry on again?

Bury me
(you thought your problems were gone)
Carry me
(away. away, away...)

Swing Swing Swing from the tangles of
my heart is crushed by a former love
Can you help me find a way
To carry on again?

posted at 6:52 PM